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40 Flirty Text Messages to Send to Your Crush
It's the post-date communication that is so hard to figure out. David Ezell, the clinical director of Darien Wellness , a counseling and mental wellness group in Connecticut, conducts dating workshops and told me that "the topic of texting has risen sharply over the past five years. Ezell continued, "Dating is as much a sales game as anything. So, what do you say, and how do you text after the first date? You need to be aware that there is no set formula or exact science, because there is an infinite amount of first date scenarios. And no, you are not the only one with anxiety over what texts to send after an initial date. If the date was great and you want a second, you can carefully craft your communication in cute fashion. If it was awful but you don't want to be ignorant and not respond, you can still let 'em down easy. You can also get to date two even if date one was "meh" based on calculated post-date transmissions. Here are the perfect texts to send after the first date, depending on how well things went. Lavelle told me, "Who knows? It might lead to a little text flirting that can be fun and a perfect cap to the evening! Comedian Billy Procida, host of The Manwhore Podcast , which tackles issues of dating, sexuality, and relationships, admitted to me, "I hate the 'playing it cool' tactic. If you're excited, then seem excited! You can seem excited and not like a crazypants. So, to play it safe, keep it short. He finished, "If you can express the entire date in emojis, do it. End with a happy girl or boy emoji followed with some hands in the air. But it's also incredibly effective for scenarios in which the date was totally awesome and you want to express it in a sassy and original way that shows off more of your personality. If someone sent me that text, I'd so be game for date No. If the bank metaphor isn't quite working for you, you can try something with a similar start and finish. My schedule is pretty tight the next couple of weeks. Can you do an afternoon this week? You helped me end a long day on a good note! I'd really like to see you again if you're up for it? If you want to see the other person again but can't tell if he or she shares your feelings, Procida thinks honesty is the best policy. I'm all for putting cards on the table. Can we get together next week? The note shows the recipient that you are in-demand and have a life outside of your romantic relationships, potential or otherwise. It also puts some time and space between the first date and gives you both something to look forward to, since you've clearly set the table for another meet up. If you are willing to give it another go, you can try and mix it up to get a better result and attempt to get to know each other more. Thompson told me you don't want to be overly complimentary or put off. You can and should play the middle. She noted, "Keeping texts simple is a rule. You want to communicate just enough, but not so that people are reading into what you are trying to say. Strive for being as clear, concise, and honest as feels appropriate. If you talked about seeing the latest Marvel movie, bring it up and use it as a launch pad to turn the shared desire to see a film into the reason to see each other again. It's also a subtle way to demonstrate to the other person that you have been thinking about them and the prior outing. It shows you were paying attention and may have shared passions and interests, which could lead to a third, fourth, or fifth date. If the time together was wonderful and leaves you with butterflies, why not share it with the person who is causing you to have that tickle in your tummy? That means sparks flew and you'll never know if he or she felt the same unless you put it out there. It could also lead to a little sexting, and what's the harm in that? It's entirely up to you and your gut feeling whether or not that's moving way too fast. Davis told me, "Remember to flirt! If you don't flirt, they might not get the hint that you're interested. But you don't want to come off chilly or disinterested, either. So, be flirtatious with a sexy text like the one suggested above. It's just the right mix of playful, naughty, and adorable. Great job with all of those strikes. I am going to practice so next time I actually have a chance to beat you. Obviously, you can tailor the transmission to whatever you did on the date — bowling, a movie, ice skating, dinner, attending a baseball game, miniature golfing, or dancing — all the while recommending a rematch of sorts! Davis concurred, "If you do want to go on another date, be flirty and generous and say, 'Hey we should try that again; this time I'll buy. It's a subtle, psychological tactic, but it could and should work in your favor as long as you send it out into the textverse with confidence. Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist , recommended pointing out something about the date that was good when you want to see someone again without seeming excessively eager. This brings the best part of the date to the forefront of the other person's mind. Lavelle also advocates for this texting tactic. It acknowledges the innately awkward nature of the first date, which Procida also advocates doing, and shows that you are well aware of it. It's also incredibly, but not disarmingly, direct. It lets your potential mate know exactly where you stand. Why beat around the bush? I think you would love the lattes at Daniels also recommended connecting the dots for the other person for the second date by suggesting it, all the while leaving it up to them to lock it down. She told me, "If you want to see them again, a compliment plus a suggestion about a related activity will do wonders to solidify a second date. Let them be the one to pursue the second date plans, though. Not sure if this would even interest you but wanted to put it out there. If this crappy, dud of a first date ended on a positive note, with both of you promising to keep in touch because you are both cool people with common interests even though you don't want to pursue romance , you can say this to soften the blow. Rejection is awkward, as Thompson pointed out. But if you want to keep in contact, here's how to convey that without leading the other person on about the dating stuff. Blackman pointed out that it's totally acceptable to not text if a date was bad. Needle also recommended a more direct communication method — real, live conversation without relying on a smart phone. But if you have misread it and you were the only one having a good time, and your enthusiastic texts are met with silence or a cool response, accept that message," Lavelle told me. Politeness is also key. Always drop a "Thank you for a great evening!
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