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Marie Jackson October 26, at 9: I met my ex-fiancee while we volunteered in the same organization. Two years later, knowing nothing about his personal life because he kept it private as he should have , his ex left him. She had a host of serious problems. I had been single all of my life and am a single parent to a teenager. Because I firmly believed that no one would ever want me or love me because of the sustained abused I experienced as a child. My ex is an enigma. God brought him into my life.. He is a believer but has unresolved trauma in his life as do I. I experienced 2 sides of a coin — in both of us. I can make a lengthy list of the positives of what he did and said. The same of myself. I believe he had good intentions. After 3 years of dating, my Heavenly Father pulled me up short, and called me out on my sexual sin, He told me that I needed to stop at that moment and that it had to do with my soul. Four months later, and less than 2 months after getting engaged, I cried out with all my heart to God to help me obey because I was greatly distressed by my unwillingness to heed the voice of My Shepherd. I had spent those years feeling guilty and sad because I was not following the values that I believed in and the unbiblical example that I was showing to my son. Because of my past, deep inside was the belief that my body was not my own, and that if anyone wanted to use it, I could not say no. The break through truly occurred one night when I made a call to the crisis line of my local sexual assault support service. At the beginning of that part of our relationship, I immediately had misgivings and talked to my then counselor. Until the day I obeyed His voice. And within 3 days, my eyes had opened to everything that I had previously not heeded. As he felt me pull away, further troubling signs appeared. You see my sisters and brothers — sexual sin is dangerous to your soul. It will blind you and rob you of your senses. It is a spiritual trap. Please heed the warnings of those who love you and want the best for you. Chief among us is the One who saved your soul. I am eternally grateful. Jesus truly saved my soul that day. I remember the day that I was born again. But on that day, He tangibly saved my soul. This man, the spirit part of him, loved me. The unrepentant part used me. But truth be told, I did the same for some of the same reasons. And the truth is that, while I need to discern, and rightly see his part in this so as not to repeat accept it in the future , it is of more importance that I see my own! God has led me to repentance but also to forgiveness for him. And as He has led me in this regard over the past year, I see the necessity and beauty of forgiveness. Each time I feel angry and point the blame at him, God acknowledges my anger but gently steers me to truth and compassion for my ex. And when you do that, you are left with the way that God loves you when you sin — love. My heart aches for missing the good things. He brought out the absolute best in me and the absolute worst. And hear this please. By not heeding our Savior when He first spoke, I caused additional pain and heartache to myself, my child, and my ex, because I agreed to get engaged, despite the warnings that we were not in His will. And it was not worth it. After the breakup, I threw myself at His mercy and sought my Savior with my whole heart and soul. And I saw the wisdom in the people who had begged me NOT to date him when I did because they knew that he was not healed. Please do not EVER date anyone who has had any type of recent and significant breakup. More so if they are coming out of any long term romantic relationship especially marriage. They need time to get their bearings with GOD — not another partner. In closing, there were some amazing blessings from our time together. And he chooses to, from what I can tell, only focus on those. I beg you to stop, remove yourself from the situation, and seek Godly counsel — not what you think you want to hear. I was saved from a marriage that would have damaged my soul and most likely that of my beloved child. I continually pray for my ex because there resides in him the seeds of great things. What the enemy meant for harm He will use for his good when he bows his head in repentance and sorrow. In my situation, given the totality of all that I heard and experienced, believe that he will. I am not his god or holy spirit. Do not be unequally yoked. Well, I will end here. I hope that even one person may hear what the Spirit has taught you through Gary and others. I believe that my ex and I will be reunited in HIS time. And he will have repented and done the hard work that the Father requires of him also. Until that day, we are to be apart. So I also hear what some of the other sisters have written in their comments. YES, God can and most certainly does change hearts. His peace be upon all. Andrea October 27, at I wish I had done what you did. I ignored and brought myself and my child into a lot of pain, damaged hearts and emotions. Ladies, please heed these warnings from Gary Thomas and ladies like Marie. I blinded my discernment and would not listen to friends who tried to warn me. I so wish I had listened!!! Antoinette October 28, at 7: I stayed in a relationship for 18 years with a man; strong sexual bond was created. Had him spending the night and us having sex meanwhile my daughter was in the next room. As the time went, my soul was so uneasy. Not being married and carrying on the way we were. I stayed way too long. I made a vow of sexual purity; to honor God with my body. It took that happening for this man to finally sit back and make a decision. Finally, we were talking about getting married. But it was too late. It was so obvious how unequally yoked we were and I finally had to heed what the Spirit was telling me. I had to cut him loose for good. It was so heartbreaking. But it was necessary. If I had understood then the red flag: But, I had my own issue. I thought marriage was going to make me happy. This man was my first real relationship and I gave it all I had: Then, as the time kept passing and him doing nothing, the bitterness I was holding inside against him. Well, now, I am taking the time to completely alone in God. I have also made the choice to intentionally not date until God has dealt with me and completely healed me. Yes October 24, at 5: And I wish I had listened when people told me not to marry my ex. I thought having a Godly man was not an option for me. That is a lie the enemy frequently tells victims of abuse. After years of cheating, emotional abuse, and verbal abuse, he left me. Best girl to marry

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5 Comments

  1. What the enemy meant for harm He will use for his good when he bows his head in repentance and sorrow. Alison Webster On the glamour modelling circuit, Elle Basey was perceived as very much an individual, a smart girl who chose her friends carefully. But business is never far away.

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  3. I am Divorced and my religion is Orthodox. At the beginning of that part of our relationship, I immediately had misgivings and talked to my then counselor. It is a spiritual trap.

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