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Breaking Up With Random Girls!
The Rules Revisited I've dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men. If nothing else, this blog is an outlet for voicing my astonishment at the typical female's ignorance of the male mindset. At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex. Tuesday, February 26, The Importance of Silence After a Break Up If you've been reading this blog for any time now, you are familiar with the idea of cutting off a man after he breaks up with you. I want to explain a little more systematically the reasons why this is important. Keep in mind that by "break up" I mean any situation in which a man makes it clear that he is no longer interested in pursuing a sexual or romantic relationship with you: In any of these situations, cutting him off completely will accomplish five things: It will show him that you are a woman of high value. It will demonstrate that you are a woman who isn't desperate or needy - a woman who can live without him because you can. Men find this attractive in a woman. Although this demonstration is unlikely to increase his attraction for you enough to make him change his decision, you will avoid confirming him in his decision by showing him that you are needy, pathetic and desperate - all of which are obvious symptoms of being below his league. It will show him what he is missing by way of contrast. By forcing him to experience life with you, and then suddenly without you in other words, before and after the break up , you will emphasize whatever feelings he has as a result of his decision. First he has you, then he doesn't. The starker that contrast is, the more he will feel your absence, and the more likely it is that he will miss you and want you back. Again, it is unlikely that this effect will be enough to make him change his mind, but in some instances it will be. It will force him to think about his options seriously. As long you stay in touch with him, he will know that he can have you back at any moment, and he will feel no urgency to reverse his decision. By staying in touch with him, you effectively give him a "safety net. It will empower you. Although you have no control over his decision to break up with you or stop dating you, you can control what happens as a result of that decision. In fact, you are the sole person capable of "enforcing" the consequences of his decision. By hanging on and hoping to get him back, you give him all of the power. But if you force him to live with the consequences of his decision i. You seize what little control you can in the interaction. Although this probably won't change the outcome of the situation, it will go a long way towards bolstering your ego and self-esteem in the face of his rejection. You will transform yourself from someone who is pathetic and dejected in light of inevitable circumstances, into a person who exercises influence on the outcome of her situation - and her ex's situation. The added benefit as explained in the other points of this post is that by doing so you don't even sacrifice any of the likelihood that he will take you back - in fact, if anything, you increase it. It will make him doubt his future options. This is probably the most important mechanism at work in your attempt to get him back , and it will be powerful in proportion to the length of the relationship with you that he is ending. If you stay in touch with him in an attempt to salvage things, you will confirm his belief that he can find someone better which is his implicit motive for dumping you. The longer you stay in touch with him after the break up, the more he will think "Hmm Why would I take her back when I know I could do better? And it will occur to him even if you aren't making an active effort to get him back, but "just" texting or calling each other from time to time. I also explain a lot more about the practical side of cutting a guy off - what to say, when is "too late," and what to do if he gets back in touch.
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