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What You Should Do When Your Partner Says They Need Space
You try to figure out what you could have done wrong, and you strategize about ways to make things better and get the relationship back on track. The way they process and experience things is different. Taking space is a natural coping mechanism for most men, just as seeking out support from friends and loved ones is a natural coping mechanism for most women. When a man needs space, it often has little, if anything, to do with you. The source of his stress could be the result of some issue in the relationship, but it might not have anything to do with you at all. Men will typically view themselves as weak and incapable if they voice their feelings or lean on other people for help or support. The way women handle difficult emotions is probably much more psychologically healthy and healing, but it is what it is. Men have a much harder time processing and handling emotions than women do. For him, escaping from his feelings temporarily is sometimes more beneficial than trying to sort through them. The biggest mistake a woman can make when he is in this mode is to force him to talk about it. And even worse is when she tries to solve the problem for him. Even though your intentions are pure, when you offer up solutions he feels emasculated. Men need to feel like they are in charge of their lives, like they are capable of solving whatever comes up. When he is under stress, just give him space and try not to take it personally. If you get angry or frustrated with him, he will just see you as another source of stress in his life, and it will put more strain on the relationship. Why is this so hard? When a woman is upset, she will typically want to talk about it with those she feels closest to. She feels shut out and rejected and may come to resent him for it, thus exacerbating any problems that already exist. It is just his process, and he will be back and better than ever once he has a handle on whatever it going on. You can offer advice if he asks, but only if he asks. Is he Losing Interest? So he might not tell you that he really needs your approval and appreciation. Instead, he backs away. Try to pay attention to what lights him up and what shuts him down. You might be surprised by what he tells you. And no matter what it is, try not to get defensive. You can also voice what it is you need from him. When you approach him from a place of genuinely wanting to make the relationship better and wanting to make him feel loved, he will be receptive to you. He might say he needs space, or he might just start taking it without warning. And the woman is baffled. She thought everything was going so well! These situations usually happen for one of two reasons. The first is a very subtle, sneaky one. It comes from a mindset shift that happens within you. This fear causes them to cling tighter to the relationship, to associate their self-worth with how the guy feels. The guy can pick up on this energy. I talk a lot more about this in my article on why guys suddenly lose interest. Try to get to the root of this underlying fear so you can internalize that you are lovable and you do deserve lasting love with a great man. A lot of guys worry that a girl will become the gatekeeper of their social calendar as soon as a commitment is made, and they will have to say goodbye to watching football with the guys on Sunday, playing sports, and every other activity they enjoy. When you give him space and the opportunity to maintain his own life and do what he likes to do, this fear dissipates. Encourage him to be who he wants to be and do what he wants to do, and make sure you do the same. A guy may not always ask for space, but he will be grateful anytime it is granted to him. When he has time to do his thing, either by himself or with his guy friends, he has the chance to recharge that part of himself. And the same goes for women. As a woman, you should never deny a man his time to recharge. This will also benefit you as well, so everyone wins! Try to maintain warm, positive feelings towards him and use the time to focus on yourself and do things that make you feel good. Just be sure to do it in a loving way, not in an accusatory or attacking way, because that will just make things worse. In the end, remember that when a man needs space, it may have little, if anything, to do with you: In any of these cases, there are things you can do to reassure him. Focus on those things, and his need for space will no longer be frightening or nerve-wracking. Instead, it will be an opportunity to give him something he needs to be his best self. I hope after reading this article, you know exactly what to do when a man says he needs space. At some point, a man will start to pull away and may lose interest. If not, you might make one of the major relationship-killing mistakes that many women unknowingly make. The next issue you need to be aware of is at some point, your guy will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to spend my life with? His answer will determine the fate of your relationship. Do you know what inspires a man to commit, and what makes a woman stand out from the rest in his eyes? If not, you need to read this right now: Is He Losing Interest?
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