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Beyoncé - Crazy In Love/Single Ladies LIVE FRONT ROW - The SSE Hydro, Glasgow 20th February 2014
This has happened a few times in the past five years. The goal is to come across as forever rich, beautiful and a blazing success. Rewind to March last year, I had money coming out of my ears. Better yet, I had money coming out of multiple orifices. With a steady group of avid regular clients, the odd newbie here and there and half the profits of the dungeon settled in my pocket each month, I was doing more than okay. Offensively expensive hotels, chauffeurs in Mercedes, Michelin star restaurants, spa days and a never ending string of gifts for my man. I paid for everything and enjoyed doing it. When we finally managed to find somewhere to move the dungeon in December , it was as if all our dreams had come true. I had been looking to properly come on board since meeting Inka but moving to bigger premises had always seemed somewhat impossible. Within two hours, we had got in touch and arranged to see it later that night. Within two weeks, we had signed the lease, tore the ceiling down, pulled multiple muscles and had managed to get around eight hours of sleep between us. But we had a dungeon, OUR dungeon! Doing anything with your best mate is always better than doing it alone, but starting a new business doing something you love with each other is a great feeling. The first few months were a whirlwind. Even though we were renting, our landlords refused to fix a thing. As far as they were concerned, we should have known the floor and the toilet were fucked when we took it on. We had both viewed it once quickly in near darkness, after all. We were fully up and running within a few weeks, using about eight different portable heaters to warm our cavernous new space. Another few months passed and it was no longer just the two of us using the space. By the end of May, I had lost a handful of my regular clients due to our sessions being interrupted by someone else walking into the dungeon. Some of these clients I had had for years, but my sincere apologies fell on their deaf ears. Submission - for most people - is an intensely private thing and there was no way they were taking any chances at having their sessions interrupted or being seen in any compromising situations by anyone other than me. Rightfully, they stopped sessioning with me, no longer willing to take the risk. A few of them even went on to send me angry, nasty messages in response to the interruptions, making the whole thing astronomically worse. Although it caused a substantial dip in my bank account, more importantly it made me feel terrible. I became paranoid, unable to focus during sessions because I was constantly waiting on someone else bursting in. I could always hear if someone was punching the code into the door lock, or pulling the shutter up but even if I managed to get to the door on time, clients were still put off by the vulnerable privacy of the space. Whenever one of my regulars stopped coming, it took a chip out of my confidence. I was beyond stressed out and started to hate the place. Because I had lost a few regulars, I decided to take on a few new clients. The first of which, was a man who even while restrained in bondage mittens with a heavy toilet box locked onto his head, still managed to literally chase me around the dungeon, terrifyingly trying to aggressively grope me for the full hour. Another, who assured me multiple times that he was very experienced with suspension and heavy latex restraint, shouted down to me that he was certain he was going to have a heart attack as soon as he was locked into three layers of latex and suspended four feet above me. It seemed that every new client I took on, turned out disastrously. Whenever I was due to session, I would freak out beforehand and cancel. I was no longer able to walk into that dungeon like I owned the fucking world. I was scared and insecure. I cancelled on people again and again. A lot of them. And mines had fucked right off. People pay a lot of money to visit Dommes and - in my opinion - they should be getting a session worth every penny that they pay. When my better half suggested I move to Glasgow, I decided to take the leap and hoped for greener pastures. I had already met multiple Dommes from the city and had been speaking to a few online for years. Everyone told me there was definitely a better fetish scene through in G-town, and a lot more work to be found too. The calendar was organised, the space was wonderful and always spotless, but just a few failed attempts at sessioning had knocked my already floundering confidence. After another steady string of cancellations, I stopped answering the phone or replying to my emails. After struggling to get back through to Edinburgh a few times every week, I realised there was no way I could keep helping Inka run the dungeon as much as I had been and sadly handed my half over to her. In the space of a year, I had went from hotshot Domme jetting off whenever I liked, to someone who spent all of her time alone in her flat with her dog, no money to do anything, no motivation to try anything. I turned down so many sessions that people just stopped asking. I decided to head down to London at the end of last year, sure that a brief spell in my favourite city, visiting a few of my favourite people would give me some much needed motivation to get back on track. After having the best week of my life and taking a few sessions that went exceptionally well while I was there, I felt rejuvenated and headed back home. I finally gathered the courage to tell my man I had been the one cancelling on clients since I moved. Forever understanding and supportive, there was no judgement from him which took yet another weight off my mind. The recovery from my hiatus has been swift but tough. Before contacting a Domme, please take into account that honesty is the best policy. Communication really IS key. If you - as the submissive - thinks the session went badly, nine times out of ten, the Domme you sessioned with is going to feel about a hundred times worse about it. Thank you for reading.
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