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When A Brown Girl Dates A White Guy: MY EXPECTATIONS VS REALITY
And you dig black girls? Not just to look at their asses from a distance, but actually to talk to them and ultimately try pomp them? And then actually pomp them and start going out in public together and stand in the queue at movies with them and all that? If this sounds like you, and you follow things through to their natural conclusion, you may even end up marrying your babe, differently coloured as you might be. It happened to me, so I have prepared a list of tips. When you hang with her mates, you will spend a lot of time staring blankly into the middle distance, smiling vaguely, while people bellow at each other in vernac, laugh their arses off and generally have more fun than you. Prepare for the speeches African culture is big on making speeches. Cultural ceremonies are basically extended talk shops where the okes — the men, mostly — get to showcase their thousand-year-old debating skills. Lobola negotiations are supposed to be handled between the uncles of your two clans. A quick check will confirm that you have only three uncles, two of whom now live in Australia, and Oom Johan, currently on probation for assaulting his farm workers. On her side, there will be roughly 27 uncles, brothers, half-brothers, half-uncles, cousin-uncles and cousin-brothers. They will all insist they are the right person to conduct lobola negotiations with. You are a racist: Being a racist is part of being South African. You okes are made for each other. Just admit it at every opportunity then wallow in your inbred racial prejudice and bigotry. Park in front of TV talking in ethnic accents, ripping off every race group in turn. You can still marry her. Embrace the B Choice of music remains one of the most powerful cultural signifiers. And you will never get to like it. It will be a living hell every time you hear it. Oh, and your Bon Iver will not be tolerated. Life will suck at this point. Misguided as that pride may be. You get a new wife every month Because black women do hair like nobody else does hair. Your babe will pop off to get her hair done at ten in the morning, and return, like, eleven hours later! Not so much with black ladies. You old smoothie, you. Cultures clash Have you ever bought something on lay-bye? How do you rate the taste of umleqwa compared to normal chicken? Do you want some of this delicious tripe? Well maybe you a white oke going out with a black babe.
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